Toilet training is such a big step in a child's development and once progress has been made and a child has that independence we think it will all be plain sailing from there. But, your child then enters the pre-school room and they are encouraged to be independent. They then come home with messy underwear, start getting sores due to not wiping properly and seem to have more accidents. You feel like your having the same discussion with the staff team over and over and question whether your child is being cared for properly?
Let me explain, the process of toileting once a child enters preschool. Preschool, is what it says on the tin 'pre-school'. We are putting the groundwork in for children to become independent, confident learners, ready for school. This involves them being able to manage their own care needs and ask for help where needed. When children are able to do things for themselves, it increases their self belief, self confidence and self esteem. This will carry on throughout their lives.
As a parent we understand your frustration, but we see it from another perspective. We are trying to give your child the autonomy to manage their own intimate care needs. We need to respect their right to privacy and dignity and allow them to have the safe space to practice these developing skills. Children are constantly encourage to ask for help or asked if they need some assistance but if they refuse this, we do not wade in and take over. This may sometimes mean they come home with marks in their underwear, twisted underwear or sore from not wiping properly which is all part of the learning process. It can be embarrassing for them when they have made new friends and we are assisting them with something they feel they can do themselves, we are being disrespectful to their wishes and undermining their abilities.
In preschool we have some occupational therapy advised activities to help develop their bottom wiping skills, among other fun things we do to support their learning and development around managing own care needs. We just ask for parents to understand our reasons for allowing them to try themselves and not feel like their children are being neglected or not cared for.
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